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Men see toilet paper infused with cashmere or aloe as a disgraceful indulgence, says Jemima Lewis. Waitrose this week launched what it called "the most luxurious bathroom tissue yet". It contains a "significant" amount of cashmere – the famously warm, soft fibre plucked from the undercoat of a north Asian goat. It is, says a buyer, both "indulgent and stylish" – so you can rest assured that, in the privy at least, you won't be outdone by the fashion pack.
It is now clear that the evolution of loo paper from functional necessity to quilted, moisturising, multi-layered, bias-cut fashion statement is entirely due to the gullibility of the female consumer. No man would be beguiled into thinking life might be better if only he could wipe his bottom on something aloe-coated.
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