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Illustration: gluekit.com
By Mark Beaumont
Why do extraterrestrials seem so keen on our rock stars? The truth is, like, way out there, man.
When aliens tire of abducting, internally investigating, memory-wiping and giving a three-day hangover to the prime specimens of our species – ie meth-addled hicks driving drunk near air force bases at midnight – their second most popular group of test subjects tend to be rock musicians. Particularly those who overdid it in the 60s and have books to flog. Last month was typical, revealing ex-Van Halen singer Sammy Hagar to have been a victim of the Venusian Butt Blender since age four. Rock history, however, is dotted with extra-terrestrial encounters, inter-dimensional communications and getting, like, really freaked out by blimps.
An absolutely-sober-honest Bernard Sumner says he saw the mothership hovering over Glastonbury's Sacred Space one year. The Troggs' Reg Presley became so obsessed with crop circles in his post-fame years that he wrote a book about it. The autobiography of the Kinks' Dave Davies tells of being contacted – by smell, no less – by five alien intelligences in a Virginia hotel. George Clinton and Sun Ra have purported to be aliens among us, and only partly as a metaphor for racial discrimination.
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